Talking to your children about adoption

Talking to your children about adoption

The 21st March marked Big Adoption Day with social media campaigns highlighting the importance of adoption and the support that is available for those who have adopted or are wanting to adopt, but what do you do when your children start getting older and asking questions about their birth parents?

It is only natural for adopted or fostered children to be curious about where they came from, who their parents were and what led to their circumstances. Some may even ask if they can meet their birth parents and while this can be hurtful for those that have bought them up, they will have their own reasons for doing this and it will inevitably be an emotional time for you all. So, what is the best way to approach the subject?

There are many resources available online to help support parents and children who are experiencing this very thing, as well as other organisations and council funded resources to give guidance. Here are a few additional bits of advice that can help with broaching the subject.

Its recommended to begin talking about the subject when your child is young, this helps them grasp the idea of being adopted and can help them be more accepting as they get older. Those that want to meet their birth parents can also be more prepared as they near their teenage years if they know a little more about their background as a youngster.
If you are going to take this approach, make sure to use appropriate language so that nothing gets lost in translation. It can be a difficult subject to get your head around and the process of finding birth parents can be stressful for parents, so making sure everyone understands each other is important.

Most importantly, however, is honesty.
If your child comes to you with questions, being open about the answers is always the best way, the older they get, the more questions they are likely to have and these will only increase and become more difficult if you’re constantly keeping information from them.

If you need any support or advice, for yourself or your children, be sure to contact your local council for a list of services in your area and speak to the children’s school if you have any concerns about them.

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