We’re told that Christmas is a time to be with family and to stick together, but that isn’t very helpful for the families of today, many of whom have step parents/children or parents who are separated. How do you keep everyone together without causing upset and how do you integrate step families into your traditions? It can be a difficult thing to negotiate, so we’ve compiled a few tips to help the festive season go as smoothly as possible.
Firstly, before the big day, make sure you get everyone together and talk about it, that way you can be clear on everyone’s expectations and their usual routines and you can come up with a compromise. Perhaps you have children who aren’t sure whether they should split the day between you and your ex, or maybe they have step brothers and sisters that have recently joined the family and they’re worried about it. You might have a whole set of in-laws you’ll need to cater for. Whatever your new situation, it’s important to sit down together in advance of Christmas Day to talk through everything, that way there won’t be any nasty surprises and you can avoid any arguments and disappointments.
When the big day comes around, don’t heap massive expectations on the day. Don’t expect it to be perfect. Much of the stress from Christmas Day comes from pressurising yourself to make it perfect, spending the day in a new situation is going to be stressful enough so don’t put extra pressure on yourself. You will forget to get things out of the freezer on time, you will slip up and forget some of the things you decided on, there will be niggles but don’t freak out if something goes wrong. Just let yourself go with the flow and enjoy the day.
Finally, work together to come up with a compromise so you can create your own Christmas traditions. It won’t be possible to do everything you did before, especially if you’re integrating families, but see it as an opportunity to come up with something special.
